i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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