Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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