I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
