I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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