Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
