I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
