She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
