dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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