A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
