"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My balls are so social today.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
