What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
