I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In America we eat man semen.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
