Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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