why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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