I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
