so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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