You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We are two peas in an std pod
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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