I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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