I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
