Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Your penis caused this!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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