i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
