franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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