out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
