The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
