just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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