I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
