physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
