I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
