I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hippo gnu deer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
