I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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