found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
