I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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