On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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