im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
