It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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