4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
