Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
A bitchslap is in order.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
