i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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