you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
