Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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