Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
