Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
