Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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