Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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