he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize