Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
