I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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