There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
