The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
