You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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