I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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